Parent-Child Relationship in Islam

(1) Rights of Parents (and Duties of children)
Islam recognises family as a basic social unit. Along with the husband-wife relationship the Parent-child relationship is the most important one. To maintain any social relationship both parties must have some clear-cut Rights as well as obligations. The relationships are reciprocal. Duties of one side are the Rights of the other side. So in Parent-child relationship the Rights of parents are the obligations (duties) of the children and vice versa, the Rights of children are obligations (duties) of parents. Islam clearly defines the Rights of Parents (which mean duties of children) and obligations of parents (which means Rights of children).


It is clear that after Allah parents are the persons who give us innumerable favors. They provide protection, food and clothing to the newly born. The mother sacrifices her comforts and sleep to provide comfort to her children. The father works hard to provide for their physical, educational and psychological (and spiritual) needs. It is a matter of common courtesy that if a person does you some favor you feel obliged to him. Verbally you say ‘thank you’ to him. You try to repay and compensate him for his gifts and favors. You feel a sense of gratitude towards him. So it is with Allah and with parents. Allah’s favors cannot be counted or repaid except by thanking Him and obeying His orders. After Allah our parents deserve our thanks and obedience for the favors they had done us. That’s why Quran lays stress on feeling grateful to parents, and doing good to them. “And your Lord has ordained that you shall worship none save Him and shall do your parents a good turn.” What does a ‘good turn’ mean? It includes obeying them, speaking softly, avoiding harsh words or harsh tone, giving them company when they are lonely, caring for their physical and psychological needs (especially in their old age), and praying to Allah that He may bless them and have mercy on them.


As between parents the mother has more rights than the father. The reason is apparent. Mother has borne the child’s burden during pregnancy, has undergone birth pains in delivering the baby, has sacrificed her own comforts to provide comfort to her children, has looked after them and felt worried for their well-being. That is why mother deserves our good treatment more than the father. A Tradition of the Prophet (PBUH) tells us that a Companion asked the Prophet, “ Who deserves my good treatment most?” “Your mother”, said the Prophet. “Who next?” “Your mother”. “Who next?” “Your mother”. “Who after that?” “Your father”. This means that the mother deserves three times more good treatment from her children than the father deserves. Another Tradition wants us to extend kind treatment to close relations on the mother’s side also (even to her friends). A famous Hadith (Tradition) says, “Paradise lies under the feet of the mother”. This means doing good to our mother lead us to Paradise.


As to the reward for doing good to our parents a Hadith mentions the following story: “Three persons of ancient days were once travelling in a mountaneous region. The rain, thunder and lightning made them take refuge in a cave. Mudslide made a stone block the opening to the cave. The persons were entrapped inside. When the storm stopped they tried to push back the heavy stone to get out of the cave but they could not. They wondered ‘what to do now’. At last seeing that their joint efforts also cannot move the stone they decided to pray to Allah sincerely. One of them suggested, ‘each one of us should relate one good thing he has done in his life and beg Allah to move the stone. One said, “One night my old mother asked me to bring a cup of milk for her. During the time I milched the goat and brought it to her she had gone to sleep. I did not think it proper to disturb her. So I stood by her bedside for the whole night till she got up in the morning and then I offered her the cup of milk. O God, if this act of mine was approved by You please shift this stone.” The stone slipped a little but not enough to let them get out. Similarly, the second and the third man mentioned an act of goodness and prayed to God to shift the stone. The stone slipped down and the entry to the cave opened up. So the men got out. This story shows how service to one’s parents leads to blessings from God and rescue from troubles. Now let us summarize the Rights of Parents (Duties of children):


(1) Right to be respected and obeyed:
Parents have a right to be respected and obeyed by children. All parents are well wishers of children. They issue orders and instructions that are in the best interest of children (though children might think ottherwise). So it is the duty of children to obey their orders and act accordingly. Some children listen to parental orders but do not act upon these or show laziness in carrying out these orders. This causes annoyance to parents. Children should remember that annoying one’s parents can lead to God’s wrath.


(2) Right to scold and rebuke:
It is instinctive obligation of parents to protect their children from physical and moral harm. If a small child puts its hand in fire it is natural urge for you to push the child back, even if the child does not want. It is in child’s interest. So it is with parents. They are duty bound to protect their children in every way, physical, intellectual, moral. If the children have a temptation to do an act that is not in their long-term interest it is the duty of the parents to keep them back from that act or behavior. To this end they may resort to advice, rebuke, scolding, even hitting them. Good children should take all this ‘harshness’ in their own interest. If parents scold them they should bear it calmly. No rude replies, no arguing, no explanations, no comments unless asked for. Parental advice should be listened to and acted upon, even if against children’s own wishes.


(3) Right to be looked after.
Parents have looked after the children for decades. So it is the duty of grown-up children to repay them by way of caring for them and looking to their physical and financial needs. A Quranic verse says: “People ask you (O Prophet) how should they spend. Say, ‘whatever you spend should be spent on Allah (in good cause), on parents, near relatives, on orphans, destitutes and travelers (who fall short of money in foreign lands)”.


(4) Right to be helped:
As parents grow old their energies also decline. So it is the duty of children to help their parents in any household chore in which they can help. Sons can help in lifting heavy things, cleaning home, arranging things etc. Daughters can help in mother’s household work—cooking, washing, cleaning, serving food etc. With good children such help should come automatically, not when asked for. Whenever you see your mother or father doing something extend a helping hand to her/him without their asking. This is what Islam expects from children.


(5) Right to kind words/good behaviour:
Quran urges children to be soft-spoken towards parents and show respect and kindness in their behavior towards parents.
Unforunate as it is, the Western societies have forgotten these lessons. Young children are rude towards parents and show disobedience. As the parents grow old they drive them out from their homes and put them in “Senior Citizens Homes”. Grown up children cannot spare time to attend to the needs of old parents. The busy Western life has led to a break-up of the family unit (so much upheld in Islam). As Muslims we expect our children to adhere to Islamic values and show respect, obedience, kindness, leniency and care towards parents, especially in their old age. Children must not forget the favors and sacrifices of their parents. As good mannered persons they must feel and remain obliged towards parents and try to repay them by kind words and deeds, even with money and material needs. These are the Rights of Parents due from their children (or the Duties of Children towards parents). These Rights and obligations are not found in Islam only. Such values are to be found in all true religions. Quran mentions Hazrat Yahya (John the Baptist) as “kind towards his parents, not tough and disobedient”. Similarly Hazrat Isa (Jesus) is quoted saying to his people, “God made me kind towards my mother (Mary) and did not make me tough and disobedient”. Hazrat Yousuf (Joseph), as a royal Minister in Egypt, called his old, poor parents from their far off home and offered them seats on a high platform (he did not feel shy of behaving in a kind manner to poor parents in the presence of his officials).


(2) Rights of Children

Now let us see the other side of the coin. We have mentioned that Parent-child relation is a reciprocal one. The Rights of Parents (discussed above) are the Duties of children. Now let us see what are the Rights of Children (and Duties of Parents) in Islam. These can be summarized as under:
(1) Children have the right to be fed, clothed and protected till they grow up to adulhood. It is, primarily, the duty of the father to do that. Mother can provide help if necessary. Protection means protection against physical as well as moral and intellectual harm. Parents are duty bound to see that the child’s personality develops in all fields. So if the parents have to resort to strictness for the sake of disciplining the children and protecting them from intellectually, morally and religiously undesirable behaviour, children should not resent their strictness. Let them perform their duty as parents. Children’s duty is not to protest or be rude but to listen and obey. “Their’s not to question why; their’s but to do and die”.


(2) Right to education.
In Islam education is not limited to bookish knowledge but includes moral and religious training also. It means healthy all-round growth of child’s personality. Parents must not only provide for children’s education in schools and colleges but should also take personal interest in their studies, helping them if they can. This gives children a feeling of ‘working with the parents’ and encourages them in studies. Parents should sacrifice their own comfort and social activities and must spare some time to take interest in children’s studies, especially when they are young. Leaving children to the mercy of teachers or tutors is not a wise policy. And of course, parents should not forget or neglect imparting religious/moral training to children. A little sacrifice on part of parents will save children from moral disasters. Effective moral training comes not from sermons, advice and precepts but from parents’ personal examples of good behaviour. It is a famous Tradition of the Prophet (PBUH) that acquisition of knowledge is a must for every Muslim boy and girl. Another Hadith says, “The best of you is one who gives a good education (intellectual and moral) to his children”. Another Hadith lays stress on education of daughters. The Prophet (PBUH) once said, “He who provides good upbringing to 3 daughters shall go to Paradise”. A man asked, “what if one has only two daughters”. “He also shall go to Paradise”. Another man asked, “and what if one has only one daughter?” “He too”, replied the Prophet (PBUH).


(3) Right to love and affection:
Children have many psychological needs also. Small children need to be loved, caressed, kissed and hugged. The Prophet loved children greatly. He would allow his grandsons Hassan and Hussain (R.A) to ride his shoulders even during his prayers. In streets he would offer ‘salaam’ to children, play and cut jokes with them. Sometimes he would even kiss small children in the street. Once a Bedouin saw the Prophet kissing a small kid. Out of wonder he said, “I have eight children but I never kiss them”. The Prophet remarked, “What can I do if Allah has taken away love and compassion from your heart”. The Prophet would show special kindness to orphaned children. Some parents believe that being frank with children is not good from discipline point of view. This is wrong. Love and leniency can do much that fear and strictness cannot do. If leniency leads to rudeness on the part of children it should be mixed with strictness. That will tell the children that parents are basically kind but can be tough if children show rudeness and bad manners. Over-protection and over-care are undesirable. Let the child grow up as a responsible person. Only provide them guidance.


(4) Right to be well provided (materially)
A Hadith says, “It is better for parents to leave their children well provided (financially) than to leave them in poverty”. This means that parents should not spend all that they have on their own comforts and luxuries but must make provisions for children’s welfare after the parents die. These are brief outlines of the Rights and Duties of both parties in the Parent-child relationship. If the parents and children act according to these guidelines they can make the family environment most conducive to peace and satisfaction for the parents and healthy personality growth for children. May Allah bless us all. AMEEN.
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The month of SAFAR and misconceptions

 As-Salaamu alaikum wa-Rahmatullahi wa-Barakatuhu

"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"

Alhamdulillah, we are into second Islamic month - Safar. Generally, people of sub-continent, take this month, especially , 13 days of safar as bad-omen. They don't start up good works be it inaugraton of bussiness, or weddings ----

Remember that our Deen is Islam which guides us about each and every aspect of life. We only can find these guide lines in Quran and Sunah (the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad).

Get the truth about the month of Safar and know that there are no Superstitions, bad omens, unfortunate, Calamities, Prohibition of marriage related to this month.


Safar literally means whistling of winds.
This name was given because of the weather condition of that time.

What events took place in the history of month of Safar?

1: The Beloved daughter of Prophet Muhammad (saw) Fatima (R.A) married Ali (R.A) in this month.
2: Prophet Muhammad fell sick in the end of this month and died in the same sickness in the next month in 12th of Rabiul-Awwal.
3: Ghazwa-e- Khaiber (battle) took place in the same month.
4: Battle of Abwaa also took place in month of Safar.


What is the misconception about Safar?


Unlucky happenings such as Diseases, curses, evils, loss in business and all the misfortunes are relayed to that month. People try to apply many tricks to protect themselves from all the misfortunes

On one hand, bad lucks and omens have been associated with this month and on the other hand self made solutions for such things have been proposed as well, such as not holding marriages in this month, boiling chick peas and distributing them so that the bad omens  are passed on to others, making 365 balls of flour and throwing them in water so that bad omens are driven away and provision is increased, reciting Surah Muzammil 313 times, considering this month to be ‘hard’ for the dead and considering the 13th of this month referred to as ‘tairah teezi’ to be unlucky.

These are nothing more than a misconception based upon the poor knowledge of Islam.
No Muslim should fell into these conceptions which had no foundations on truth.


What Quraan says about month of Safar?


Allah says

“Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve months (in a year), so was it ordained by Allah on the Day when He created the heavens and the Earth;” (At Tawbah 9: 36)

What comes to you of good is from Allah, but what comes to you of evil, [O man], is from yourself. And We have sent you, [O Muhammad], to the people as a messenger, and sufficient is Allah as Witness.
(79 surah nisa)




It is this revolution of  day and night that makes up weeks and months and years, which constitutes time, regarding which Prophet Muhammad (s) said that Allah Zawjul has said,
“ The son of Adam hurts me for he abuses Time though I am Time: in My Hands are all things, and I cause the revolution of day and night.” (Bukhari)

So it is very clear that day and night is from Allah and considering any time, hour, day, month or  year to be unlucky is a great misconception and a sin.


What Prophet Muhammad guides us about Safar?

Prophet Muhammad said about Safar;“No adwaa [transmission of infectious disease
without the permission of Allah], no tiyarah [superstitious belief in bird omens], no haamah [refers to a Jaahili Arab tradition described variously as: a worm that infests the grave of a murder victim until he is avenged; an owl; or the bones of a dead person turned into a bird that could fly], and no Safar [the month of Safar was regarded as “unlucky” in the Jaahiliyyah].”

[Translators notes are in square brackets]. (Reported by al-Bukhari, 5757, and Muslim, 2220)

What does the companions of prophet Muhammad (sahabah) said about this month?

Jaabir (R.A) very clearly mentions about the superstitions and the wrong concept of Safar:

"I have heard the Prophet saying, the descending of illness and evil superstition befalling in the month of Safar is untrue." (Muslim)


Superstition is shirk

A man leaves his house, on the way a black cat crosses his path, he think this is a bad omen and therefore returns back home. Though this seems to be such a minor act, however in reality, it really means that he thinks that the black cat has the power and authority to change the man’s fate. This is shirk because it means that other than Allah, the cat also has control and authority over a man’s life and to bring harm to him (Naauuzobillah).

Holding such beliefs not only led man to make halal things haram on himself but led him to associate fate and destiny with these things, which is not only a great misguidance but a great sin ‘Shirk’ because no one other than Allah has the power and control over man’s fate, and all the things from which good or bad portents are derived are nothing but creations of Allah who have no control over other creations.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
“Taking omens is shirk; taking omens is shirk. He said it three times. Every one of us has some (superstition), but Allah removes it by trust (in Him).” (Sunan Abi Dawood)
He also said, “A person who derived bad luck from something and refrained from doing what he was intending to do, he has committed shirk. The companions asked him what would be its expiation, the Prophet replied “He should say,

‘ O Allah there is no portent other than Your portent, no goodness other than Your goodness, and none worthy of worship other than You’.”(Musnad Ahmed)

Being Muslim, we should have full faith and trust in Allah and believe from our heart that it is only Allah who has power over us

Thnx for reading... kindly share with ur friends so that every 1 can know it

The Obligatory Acts(farad) of Wudhu'

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ إِذَا قُمْتُمْ إِلَى الصَّلاةِ فاغْسِلُواْ وُجُوهَكُمْ وَأَيْدِيَكُمْ إِلَى الْمَرَافِقِ وَامْسَحُواْ بِرُؤُوسِكُمْ وَأَرْجُلَكُمْ إِلَى الْكَعْبَينِ

Ayah 6 of Suratul-Ma’idah means: {When you want to pray, wash your face, your hands and forearms up to and including the elbows, wet wipe your heads, and wash your feet up to and including the ankles.

 The Obligatory Acts(farad) of Wudu'

1. To wash the face,
2. To wash the two arms [the hands are included in the arms],
3. To apply masah (wiping) on at least one-fourth of the head,
4. To wash the two feet.

How to Perform Wudhu

Wudhu, or ablution, is both a traditional ritual and a practical means by which Muslims seek to maintain good physical and spiritual hygiene. Traditionally, Wudu refers to the mental preparation and physical cleanliness of Muslims for the Salat (prayer/Tholugai), one of the Five Pillars of Islam.

Steps

Make niyyah (Intention) to perform washing. Niyyah is the Islamic concept of performing an act for the sake of Allah. To truly perform Wudu, you should center yourself and quiet your thoughts, focusing seriously on what you are doing.

Niyyah doesn't necessarily involve saying anything out loud, but focusing on the phrase "Bismillah" (In the name of Allah) is a good way to accomplish the centering necessary. Say it out loud or silently to yourself, whichever makes you comfortable.

Wash your hands. Use your left hand to wash your right hand. Do this three times. After that, use your right hand to wash your left hand three times. Make sure to wash in between your fingers and all the way up to your wrists.[1]

Take water into your mouth. Use your right hand to cup water into your mouth three times. Swish it around in your cheeks and the back of your throat. Do this thoroughly to get all the remaining food in your mouth out.

Inhale water into your nose. Use your right hand to cup water and inhale it into your nose three times. You can use your left hand to close one nostril and blow out if you need to. Snort sharply and abruptly without taking too much water into your nose and choking yourself. If you cannot inhale water into your nose, you can wet your fingers and put water on the lower part of your nostril.

Wash your face. Wash your face three times by spreading your hands from your right ear to the left, and from the edge of the hair to the chin.

Wash your lower arms from wrists to elbows, leaving no part dry. From your wrist to your elbow, wash your right arm with your left hand three times and then wash your left arm with your right hand three times.

Clean your head. Using your wet hands, gently wipe your forehead from the eyebrow to the hairline. Also wipe down your hair, the back of your neck, and your temples. Do this one time.

Wipe your ears inside and out. With the same water, use your finger to clean all the crevices of your ear. Use your thumb to clean behind your ears from the bottom upward. This is also done one time.

Wash each of your feet. Clean up to the the ankles and be sure water goes between the toes. Use your pinky finger and go through each toe to eliminate anything between. Start with your right foot and scrub each foot three times.

While pointing the right index finger to the sky, recite a brief prayer of witness. Generally, the prayer is as follows: "Ash-hadu anlaa ilaaha illALLAHu wahdahuu laa shariikalahu, wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan 'abduhuu wa rasuuluhu."

In English, this is translated as "I bear witness that there is no deity save Allah alone; He is One; He has no partner and I bear witness that (Hadrat) Muhammad (sallallahu ala Muhammadu sallallahu alaihu Wasallam) is His (chosen) servant and (true) Messenger."

Repeat Wudu after it has been nullified.

Actions that nullify Wudu include natural discharges, including urination, defecation, excessive bleeding, and gas. Deep sleep also nullifies Wudu.

After intercourse, re-performing Wudu alone is not enough to be able to perform Salat. There is another form of purification that must be performed known as Ghusul.